I am not a Tzara (Leper)

Now that I am a Pressman Parent and I begin to meet more and more parents it has become somewhat enjoyable to see the various reactions of people when they find out what I do for the community.   I have had various experiences from the, "That's the last person we want to meet", who says "Nice to meet you, now forget our names." To the "guilty", who says, "Nice to meet you, I am pretty sure we made an annual gift this year."  To the "Deer in headlights" who either does not respond or looks at me like I just said, "I am the Director of Development (insert evil laugh)."  Sometimes I feel like the leper we read about in this week's Torah Portion that must be sent out of the community.

When I would first come across some of these reactions, I almost felt apologetic, almost as if I needed to say, "Sorry, I am just here as my daughter's Abba today," but the more I thought about it, these reactions provided great learning opportunities for the community.   I had a window to share why I love being a development professional, especially for such a wonderful community as Temple Beth Am/Pressman Academy.  It is the community where  I met my wife, where we held the Simhat Bat (Daughter's Naming Ceremony) for our daughter, our Brit Milah (Circumcision Celebration) for our son and where our daughter is now enrolled in school.

Four Ring Knot

I love that I play an important role in Jewish Continuity.  I love that I can lead the charge to raise funds so that no family is ever turned away from a Jewish Education whether it be in the Early Childhood Center, Day School or Jewish Learning Community due to financial need.   I love that I can work with members of the community so that they have the opportunity to do something that is extremely meaningful to them.  I give people the opportunity to be a role model for their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

During my son's Brit Milah, I looked out in the room and I could have seen donors, but I saw friends.  I saw the people I wanted to be surrounded by and the people that wanted to be with me to celebrate a meaningful day in my life.   I am not sure if there is another job where I could "hang-out" with people 50+ years my senior and call them my friends.  I don't know if there is another job where in one day I can interact with four generations of one family for four different reasons.

I have a pretty awesome job, so I don't need to apologize for it.  I just hope you love the community as much as I do and you choose to support it generously with a meaningful gift (above dues and tuition).  Also, don't be afraid to share with me what you love about it (and also what you would improve). 

I am not a leper, embrace me, for I am a fellow congregant, a fellow parent and I am a person that believes in the importance of building Jewish community and continuity. 

If I am only for myself...

 “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?” ~ Hillel

As a Development Professional you must strongly believe in the organization you raise funds for, otherwise, you probably should find another job.  Even so, it is ok to have a few other causes that you are more passionate about as long as the cause you work for is a top five of your philanthropic choices, preferably not less than a top three choice.  

I care deeply about Jewish Community and Jewish Continuity, especially at Temple Beth Am and Pressman Academy.  My wife and I met at "Purim in the Chood" at TBA and every morning my daughter sprints (as much as a 2 1/2 yr. old can sprint) to her classroom at Pressman Academy. But I will be honest, TBA/Pressman is one of my family's top three philanthropic choices but it is not my family's top choice, and that is ok. (This statement does not include costs associated with tuition and camp - which are not considered philanthropic choices.)

#WageHope Knot for
Pancreatic Cancer
Awareness

My wife lost her mother to Ovarian Cancer over nine years ago and her family set up a fund in her name at a non-profit.  We are honored to donate in her mother's memory every year and at their walk each year, "Team Linda" is the top Tribute Fund Team for the Lynne Cohen Foundation.  My wife also works for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, so we choose to give some of our philanthropic dollars to support their mission as well.

In meeting with prospects and donors and learning more about their interests, I need to keep this in mind as well.   There are numerous wonderful nonprofit agencies that donors can choose to support and I cannot force them to make TBA/Pressman their top priority, I can make sure it is on their list of priorities and then as they become more connected it becomes a higher priority.  I am also open to sharing my knowledge of the nonprofit sector with donors as well.  If someone is very passionate about providing healthcare for those that can't afford or have nowhere to turn, I feel very comfortable educating them about some places they may be able to direct their donations, or if they are passionate about the arts, there are numerous places they can make donations. 

At first thought, one would think, I might be promoting my competition and would get a reduced donation from a prospect, however I have found it quite the opposite.  The donor knew they wanted to give to the arts or another purpose, however I was able to demonstrate to them that I care about how they allocate their philanthropic dollars, and it is not just about my bottom line.   Donors have actually shared that this approach has increased their belief and trust that we will handle their funds appropriately.  Not only did they support the other nonprofit, but gave a gift to TBA/Pressman at a higher level than they otherwise would have.

In graduate school, the term that was applied to this was co-opetition.  Credit goes to Liz Shear for this creative name.   There are times that one needs to protect their own interests and there are times that there is benefit in looking out for others.   These are the words that Hillel shared nearly two-thousand years ago,  “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”  We need to look out for ourselves but we also need to be there for others.  Not in the future, not in the past, but at all times.  

Hobbies

Hobbies Help

Seriously, the Fancy Knots Help Me Be a Better Fundraising Professional

Since my Bar Mitzvah, I have been tying neck-tie knots the same way, a half-Windsor knot.  Every time I tied the knot I would say to myself, one, two, around and through.; the same words my dad shared with me when he first taught me how to tie a tie.  Then one day about a year ago, I was looking up some new neckties to purchase when not so randomly on my Facebook sidebar there was an advertisement for the following weblog:  "9 Ways to Transform a Tie into a Stunning Knot"  http://diply.com/creativeideas/9-ways-transform-a-tie-into-a-stunning-knot/21342.  I watched a few videos and I was hooked!

Over time I found a few YouTube Channels that focus on tying fancy knots.  Many offices have casual Fridays, however I learned from my mentor, you never know when a donor or a prospect may walk in, so you always need to dress like you're worth it.  My compromise was #FancyKnotFriday where I could dress nice but test out some creative knots.  I usually post the knots on Facebook with the hashtag #FancyKnotFriday.  People have shared with me that even though they may not like or comment on the post, they look forward to seeing my knot each week.   I also love when I arrive at Temple Beth Am on Friday mornings the Head of Security looks for my knot and also a few teachers say, "It's Yom Shishi, what is your knot today?" 

Even with the amount of people that enjoy seeing the creativity, a few others have expressed their feelings that all you need is one or two knots, keep it simple.   My response to them is, the fancy knots actually help me be a better development professional.  Yes, you read that correctly, the knots do indeed help me to be a better development professional, let me explain. One major misconception of fundraising professionals is that all we care about is the amount of money we raise.  If that was what I cared about, I would hate my job and I would not be successful.   The heart of being a great development professional is building relationships.  Since I have started wearing fancy knots to events, conferences or meetings, I have found it significantly easier to start conversations with people I don't know, or don't know well.  Often they will notice the knot because it is not something they have ever seen before which opens the door for me to share with them my hobby.  After I speak about knots and share some photos on my phone (where they get to see some pics of my kids as I slide through the images) I feel very comfortable asking them about their hobbies or if the conversation has progressed to children, we talk abou t them.  People love to talk about things they enjoy doing and even more they love talking about their children.  The ice is broken and now next time I see that person I can easily follow-up and ask about their children or how their soccer game went or if they saw a great show or something that would be meaningful to them.  This new relationship developed quicker and easier all because I wore a fancy knot. 

Not every hobby is as visible as a fancy knot, however learning about someone's hobbies can help develop deeper connections which can in turn develop stronger relationships.  It will also make your conversation a little more memorable than discussing what you do as your job.

 Majesty Knot (it should slightly resemble a crown)